'Second pub on the right and straight on til morning'

I'm walking down Oxford Road from St Peter's Square. On my way to the Palace Theatre to do the pre-show checks for whatever was playing that week. As I passed the Odeon I saw the Stage Manager from the Opera House stomping up the street towards me dressed in his usual odd-mix of stone-washed jeans, shirt, tie and 'Big Verne' sheepskin coat.

As we approached each other and I went to greet him,I noticed that he was somewhat red in the face. "Hi". He cast his eyes to the pavement and strode off right past me without a word. It was a bit odd however, I didn't give it much more though until I reached the Palace and heard what at gone on that afternoon.

The  Opera House was the Palace's sister Theatre and tended to house a few long running musicals each year to compliment the Palace's programme of opera, ballet and plays, The big show at the Opera House was 'Peter Pan the Musical'  and it was Wednesday, matinee day.

The show, starring Lulu was well into it's 6 week run and the production had settled into a well oiled routine. A little too well oiled this day as it turns out.

Many of the crew, including the Stage Manager had what we would today term 'lifestyle issues'. It was common to find the crew in the New Victoria bar before and after the show. Based on the book, 'Peter pan' was more like a play with music with long scenes and it appears that once the show got into it's run, a few key members of the crew had taken to relieving the boredom of the long penultimate scene in act one by sharing a couple of pints and the odd glass of 'Doctor Bells' round at the Vic.

Apparently, this afternoon, the key members of the crew had been joined by all of the remaining stage crew  and while Lulu was giving it Wigan in her shammy leather top teaching Wendy and the rest of the troupe to fly, apart from the lighting and sound operators and the DSM on the book, the venue was crewless. A rudderless ship.

At the end of the scene in question, Peter, the children and Nana the dog have flown out of the nursery window, which along with the rest of the nursery set have trucked off to reveal a star cloth and dry-ice covered floor. Peter teaches the kids to soar and tumble while belting out one of the shows best tunes.

During the songs middle 8 the DSM starts standing all the crew by for the scene change. The  red 'stand-by' light on the fly-floor starts to flash and the DSM speaks to all the crew on the intercom. "standby please LX cues 89-105" "standing by" comes the board operators reply. "stand-by stage management for scene change" "standing by". "stand-by please fly cues 8 and 9". Silence.

The back up for the intercom is a system of cue lights. Flashing red for stand-by, which can be responded to by pressing a button to make the light go constant and green for go. The DSM looks at the stand-by light for the fly-crew which is still flashing. She starts to call on the intercom more insistently now "Flys?...Flys?". The fly crew can't hear the DSM and can't quite see the flashing red light from the public bar at the Vic.

Lulu is well into the last verse and the DSM is getting frantic. Now using the backstage public address system "Flyman to the flys. Flyman to the flys immediately!". The song careers on towards it inevitable conclusion with Lulu using her twin wire swivel harness to perform a series of spectacular backward flips. The DSM is now screaming into the PA "ANYONE to the fly floor. ANYONE in the building who can hear this to the fly floor NOW!"

The song ends. The DSM remembers to call LX cue 89 which is a blackout on the last beat of the music. The lights go out on cue. Nothing else happens. Soon the audiences eyes adjust to the darkness and in the reflected light from the orchestra music stand lights they watch as Peter Pan stops performing back-flips and along with three children and a sheepdog, dangle on wires in complete silence.

Meanwhile, a chorus boy who had been standing by to enter for the front-cloth scene had made a wild dash for the fly floor, six flights of steps up from the stage. He makes it onto the fly-floor and is frantically pulling at ropes trying to identify the one which controls the front cloth.

The magic of the theatre has flown out of the nursery window well and truly by now. To the titters of the audience, a livid Lulu, overheated dog and bemused children swing gently in the breeze. The MD has had the foresight to rouse the band into a loop of some scene change music from earlier and eventually, the chorus boy finds the correct rope and the front cloth is unceremoniously lowered to the stage, passes it's dead and crumples in folds onto the stage floor before the first time fly-man  / pirate hauls the cloth back out to it's dead. Rapturous applause. The end.

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