It's December 1993 and I am back at the Palace Theatre Manchester as Lighting Designer for 'Dick Whittington' starring Ken Dodd. Ken's miserable so consequentially so are the rest of us. The set looks like it's been on the road since 1935 as does the director.

During a break in an interminable technical rehearsal, I wander up onto the stage to check how many booms have been trashed by the stage crew over the course of the day. I can hear a "shh, shh, shh" noise coming from upstage. I walk upstage left to the load in doors and see Connor the Production Manager working away furiously on a foot pump trying to inflate a life sized rubber cow.

"Three years at drama school for THIS!"  

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